Straining forward

Faith looks crazy

ans712681 — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 18:20:27 +0000

It’s taken me a long time to gather my thoughts on this one. God doesn’t always act in ways that make sense to us. I’ve always loved this verse in Isaiah 55:8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. When I have a problem I analyze all possible outcomes and then when I pray I have this idea of how God could act to fix it. It’s easy to limit what God can do because we can only conceive of what seems possible to us, while the reality is that there are no limitations for God. In Exodus 14 the Israelites are caught between the Red Sea and the Egyptian army and from their perspective there’s pretty much one option, death. They never would have imagined that God would part the Red Sea and then drown the army in it.

There are several instances in the bible where God tells someone about His plan for their life and it seems completely implausible to them. When God told Abraham that He would be the father of many nations, Abraham actually laughed because of his old age and the age of his wife. That promise took 25 years to fulfill, but what God had spoken did come to pass. After Joseph was told by God that he would rule over his brothers, he was thrown into a well by them and sold into slavery. Over the years, as Joseph rises in esteem he gets thrown into jail and what God had spoken seems less and less likely. God’s words to Joseph do come to be though, but not in the way or the timing that Joseph would have imagined.

The last few months my thoughts have really centered on what faith looks like and how to increase my faith. I’ve been struggling with what to do when you think God has told you something but then circumstances don’t seem to line up with what you think you’ve heard. So I’ve really just come to a point where I know that I can only get so far in my understanding and I have to just believe that God will be able to speak to me in ways I can understand and that He is able to bring about His plans for me. I get worried that I’ll miss the plan or the signs that keep me on the path or pray for the wrong thing. Thankfully it’s not up to me to always know exactly what to pray for or what to do. It’s not as if God says “you prayed for that, oh no now I have to do that,” as we delight ourselves in the Lord He is able to shape the desires of our hearts and He knows our needs even before we ask. I am encouraged by the stories of Abraham and Joseph because I can see how God used their situations to develop true faith that relied completely on the sovereignty of God. I know He can use my limitations to shape me in the same way.

There’s an interesting quote by C.S. Lewis “God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn’t…He always knew that my temple was a house of cards. His only way of making me realize the fact was to knock it down.” So often we go through difficult circumstances with the idea that God is somehow testing our faith and this quote completely changed the way I think about that. I always wondered how after those 25 years of waiting God could ask Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, did He not know enough about the faith of Abraham? I think now it was Abraham who needed to learn the depths of what his devotion to God was. The only way we learn to have true faith is to have our circumstances shaken so that we look away from them long enough to see clearly the character of God. The very essence of faith as stated in Hebrews 11 is that we hope for and are certain of what we do not see.

It’s easier to hold on to hope when we have circumstances that look promising. What do we do though when our situation offers no plausible solution? We are forced to believe not in our ideas about the ways it could work out, but to fully believe that God can do things that we can’t imagine. I think we often treat faith as an emotion that we experience, we want to “feel” faith. Faith though is more an act of will than an emotion, though sometimes we are given a gift of faith, it is often a decision to be made. I heard in a church sermon that faith is “gaining assurance by focusing my confidence on the integrity of God.” Focusing my confidence requires action on my part. I can’t replace feelings such as discouragement or fear with feelings of faith, but what I have learned to do is declare the truth of word by speaking it out loud to affirm who God is and what I know to be true about His character. Consistently reminding ourselves of who God is and what He has done and is able to do can keep us from becoming discouraged. It will also draw us into deeper intimacy with God because God is pleased by faith, as it says in Hebrews 11 “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.”

No shortcuts

ans712681 — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 14:21:35 +0000

Yesterday I was reading over a book from a conference I went to called “Restoring the Foundations.” The gist of what I was reading is that as God brings healing to different areas of your life He will often bring you through situations similar to those that started the hurt in the first place. I was reminded of a book I often read to my niece and nephew when they were little, “We’re Going on a Bear Hunt.” In the book the characters are going on a bear hunt and as they go along they keep running into difficulties…mud, snow, etc. Everytime they come up to one of these they say “Oh no! We can’t go under it, we can’t go over it, we’ve got to go through it.” It seems like there is no shortcut to being transformed…you’ve got to go through it.

God certainly can miraculously change us and deliver us from our issues, but more often than not He chooses to involve us in a process that draws us closer and closer to Him. Something I heard recently in a Joyce Meyer sermon “God is more interested in doing something in you, than He is in doing something for you. If He can do something in you, then He can do something through you.” God doesn’t want to leave me the way I am with all the insecurities, fears, and destructive patterns of behavior that I’ve developed over my life. The only way to really have those things worked out though is for them to come to the surface and that can be a painful process. I have the reassurance though in Philippians 1 that “the One who began a good work in you will carry it on until it is completed.”

God doesn’t desert us in the midst of the process. Further on in Philippians 4 it says that “The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” God sees the entirety our situation, the depth of the struggle and provides peace that we can hardly grasp. I’ve been thinking a lot about the peace of God, because when I demand answers to the questions in my life it seems like God is just answering me with peace. I’m learning to appreciate what it means to be anxious over nothing, it does not mean that I will have nothing to be anxious about. It doesn’t mean that all of my prayers will be answered just the way that I want. It means that when I don’t have answers I’ll really understand the peace of God, because the peace that God offers can only be fully recognized when you have no answers and yet you have peace. I recently heard a quote from Joyce Meyer that says “There is no such thing as trust without unanswered questions.” Trust is evidenced by our ability to be anxious over nothing as we bring our requests to God. This peace that we receive guards our hearts and minds because it provides a way to see clearly, free from thoughts and decisions based on our perceptions and emotions.

I love the application of this in the next few verses of Philippians 4 where Paul says “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” The secret of contentment is dependence on God for provision and strength. How can you come to depend on God unless you stop relying on yourself and how can you stop relying on yourself unless you’re brought through situations where your own efforts aren’t enough? Unless you go through times of want in addition to times of plenty you cannot really know the secret of contentment in all situations. Again, there is no shortcut to this lesson…dependence only comes by facing a time when you are utterly dependent.

Ultimately, going through the process involves believing that God really has a plan for my good, and my good doesn’t mean that I’ll always have an easy, painless, fun time of it. God’s plan also includes the good of all those who love Him, and are called according to His purpose, so most assuredly God will use my experiences to affect others. I’ll end with a quote I saw recently (thanks Lindsay) from Ben Patterson “What we see God doing is never as good as what we don’t see.”

Not in my strength

ans712681 — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 15:56:32 +0000

This is ironically titled, because I’ve had this idea going around in my head for a few days and hadn’t written it up. The reason I hadn’t gotten it down yet was because I wanted it to be just right. Then it hit me…the whole point of what I am about to write has to do with how I am absolutely unable to do a thing without God and how I need to trust that God is able to work through me despite my weaknesses. So I’m just going to start writing and we’ll see where this goes.

I don’t like when there are times that I can’t see God’s purpose/plan for a situation or I when thought I knew what the plan was but circumstances change and then I question whether I knew the plan at all. I wonder if I hear from God clearly, sometimes I feel that I do and God is so tangible. Other times I think I’ll miss God’s will somehow because I don’t trust myself and my ability to hear from God. At least I thought it was myself I didn’t trust, what I’ve come to realize is that ultimately I’m saying that I don’t trust God to be able to speak to me in ways I would understand. The issue is that I’m not trusting that God is really going to come through for me. I’ve had a couple friends going through situations where they were seeking God’s will in a specific area of their lives and I told them as long as they were seeking God and being obedient they couldn’t miss it. Recently, I was really questioning whether or not I was hearing from God about a certain situation and one of those friends repeated to me what I had said…that God won’t let you miss it. It is one thing to encourage a friend and believe God to be able to work in someone else’s life. It’s easier sometimes to have faith for someone else. Somehow it is a different matter when your own words come back to you and you have to believe them for yourself. So this idea of not being to able miss God’s plan (provided you are honestly seeking first God’s righteousness and His Kingdom, certainly you can miss it if you are being willfully disobedient) has been on my mind a lot lately.

2 Corinthians 1:21-22 says that “Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.” God first has to enable me to recognize who Jesus is because it through Jesus that I can come into God’s presence, in 1 Corinthians 12:3 it says “Therefore I tell you that no one who is speaking by the Spirit of God says, “Jesus be cursed,” and no one can say, “Jesus is Lord,” except by the Holy Spirit.” Also in 1 John 4:19 it says that “We love him, because he first loved us.” It is comforting to realize that I need God to help me even recognize my need for God. God first of all draws me to Himself and it is His spirit that brings me the knowledge of God.

Understanding God’s love for His people and for me is key to believing in His desire and ability to act. The bible is filled with stories recounting God’s might on behalf of His people. Over and over again, whether God himself recounts it to someone or people speak of it to each other, we are told of how God brought his people out of Egypt and provided for them in the desert. People need to be reminded of what God has done because otherwise they lose sight of God’s ability to act. In Deuteronomy 8:10-18 it says “When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the LORD your God for the good land he has given you. Be careful that you do not forget the LORD your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day. Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, then your heart will become proud and you will forget the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. He led you through the vast and dreadful desert, that thirsty and waterless land, with its venomous snakes and scorpions. He brought you water out of hard rock. He gave you manna to eat in the desert, something your fathers had never known, to humble and to test you so that in the end it might go well with you. You may say to yourself, “My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me.” But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your forefathers, as it is today.” When we remember what God has done for us in the past it gives us hope that He will act in the future, because we affirm our understanding of who God is and what He can do.

I’ve wondered why there are times when God seems to be silent or circumstances just don’t support our hope in God’s faithfulness. One of the reasons God allows us to go through times when we can’t see or hear clearly is because it causes us to realize our dependence on Him. In 2 Corinthians 1:8-11 it says “We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us…” It is those times when I come to the point of despair that I come to the end of my own strength. In 2 Samuel 22:33 it says that “It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.”

I can know that God calls me and enables me to respond, and I can know that He is powerful enough to do what He says He will do. I can have insight into why He might allow situations where my strength fails. Despite all this, I was still having trouble believing that I really wouldn’t miss God’s will until I saw this in John 10:27 “My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me…”. I am not the one in the lead and my responsibility is to follow the shepherd. The shepherd will not let his sheep stray, because let’s face it…sheep are really, really dumb. They require attention and care, in Psalm 23 there is a wonderful description of the Lord as our shepherd “The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” God protects me and He knows that I need to be guided, because I won’t always know how to follow. It is freeing to realize that it’s okay not to have control. I need continual reminders that just because I’m not in control it doesn’t mean that there isn’t a direction I am headed in.

Running the race

ans712681 — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 02:30:32 +0000

^“1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. “(Hebrews 12:1) I’ve been noticing how often living our lives is likened to running a race in the bible. Since I’ve been running alot these last few months I’ve found that this is a rich and appropriate analogy. When it comes to running I’d say I’ve made a fair amount of progress, but I’m not where I want to be…this could be said of where I’m at in my relationship with God. I’ve noticed there have been times over the last few months when I would have much rather walked than run. There were days that I pushed myself hard and felt my calf muscles screaming, barely able to get my breath. There’s a decision to be made at that point…push on or turn back. There were times when I did just that, but I knew I probably could have gone further. Then were times when I managed to go further, when I found some little reserve of energy that got me through and then it wasn’t so hard. I think it’s just like that with our faith and our trust in God when facing a difficult time…push on or turn back.

“Not only so, but wealso rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴perseverance, character; and character, hope.” (Romans 5:1-4) I’ve been thinking about the time between suffering and perseverance. There isn’t often an immediate transition from one to the other, there’s a space between the two called endurance. I’ve been running long enough to realize that endurance is built by continuously getting to the point when I don’t want to go further, then making the decision to keep going anyway. Each time I do this I can endure yet more the next time I run, and I’m training my mind along with my body to know how much can be endured. It’s the same with my faith and my trust in God. I have a problem, suffering of some sort, an immediate answer doesn’t come or the answer comes in a way I didn’t expect. I continue seeking God while enduring in the suffering and there’s grace to meet the challenge “perseverance.”

Preceding those verses in Romans is this 5:1-2 “Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, wehave peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, ²through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And werejoice in the hope of the glory of God.” We start with faith and that faith accesses grace. Grace is like a burst of energy for my spirit that gives me the fuel to keep going. Because of our faith we receive peace…Isaiah 26:3 “The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, Because he trusts in You.” So as we go through suffering we are trained to endure so that we can persevere. Continual perseverance will develop our character because we will come to understand more about our own limitations and God’s power. My mind is trained as I run so that it controls my body and it’s knowledge of my ability to endure causes me to know when to push a perceived limit. Character developed through suffering and perseverance recognizes a limit to what can be achieved on our own and the boundless potential of God to act. God is the source our power and never is that realized more fully than in times of suffering. Through the dependence on Him that we learn as we suffer and persevere we are able to push through our limitations. All of this is an encouragement to me as I feel that I am in the “endurance” phase often waiting for the perseverance, but I know that it comes. Each time that I am able to joyfully seek God and have peace even in the midst of the struggle I’m strengthened and transformed. I’d rather be strengthened to run further the next time than turn back and give up.

Being transformed

ans712681 — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 02:36:40 +0000

So I’ve been thinking that I spend alot of my time guarding against pain and suffering of any sort. Whether its working to make sure I’ve analyzed every situation so that I have all the answers (somehow this never seems to work), or assuring myself that I have a back up plan for every possibility that could go wrong, I expend alot of mental and physical energy to avoid pain. Inevitability, things go wrong and disappointments happen. What am I to make of this and how do I get control of my thoughts and emotions so that I’m not crushed every time disappointments happen? I’ve come to the conclusion that my focus is on externals and God’s is on internals. It says in 2 Corinthians 3:18 that “We, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever increasing glory, which comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.” God is interested in making me more like Himself and He will allow situations in my life that will do just that. Our character is built up in situations where we’re stretched. There’s a great C.S. Lewis quote “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, and shouts in our pains. It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” There are things in my life that I just can’t understand or see the greater purpose for, but God is changing my understanding to enable me to see that when it says “all things work to the good for those who love Him” it might mean an increase in faith or an increase in the fruits of the Spirit instead of resolution of our circumstances. I’d really like to see a change in the externals, but if I can choose to pray that God would change my heart and make me more like Him I believe that would give me a totally different perspective. I think I’m afraid to pray to be more humble, or more giving, or more gentle because I know God will put me in situations where I’ll be required to humble myself or sacrifice and giving up my comforts can be hard. The truth of it is though that we’re meant to be living for others and so often I’m really just worried about myself. God is showing me that trusting Him means allowing him to take care of my externals while I use my resources to take care of others. It’s such a paradox…as I give more of myself out God pours more peace and joy into me than I could ever get through my efforts at keeping myself secure.

Big Asks

ans712681 — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 01:06:13 +0000

Since a recent sermon on why we don’t ask big things of God, I’ve been thinking about the changes we want to see that we don’t ask for because it seems like they’re just too big, and if I put all of my hope and faith behind it and it doesn’t happen I’ll end up more crushed than if I hadn’t hoped in the first place. It seems that I’ve stopped hoping for the really big things because I can’t imagine all of the intricate pieces of the puzzle that would have to fit into place for them to come about. I’ve been reminded the last couple of days that God holds those pieces in His hands and amazingly he knows just where they go. I’ve been a Christian for 5 years now…but God was carefully configuring the pieces of my puzzle long before that. My sister became a Christian when I was a sophomore in high school and shared with me all of her newfound joy and excitement, which I was somewhat intrigued by. There was an opportunity here that I missed though and I ended up deciding that my sister was kind of crazy. I believed there was a God, but I didn’t believe we could know anything more than the fact that he exists. She spent seven years…7 YEARS…praying, fasting, believing that God was going to redirect me. All the while she had to watch as I partook of all that college life had to offer…going from one thing to the next on an ever more desperate search for ephemeral happiness. Until senior year in college when through a series of manuevers on God’s part and serious faith on my sister’s part I came to know Christ. All of this is to say that God is impressing this upon me “I AM a big ask and that gives me the faith to ask big.” All I have to do is look at my own life and see how radically it was changed and I can know that nothing is impossible. I think I need those reminders more often, because they are glimpses into the character of God, reflections of His sovereignty and faithfulness.