Not in my strength
This is ironically titled, because I’ve had this idea going around in my head for a few days and hadn’t written it up. The reason I hadn’t gotten it down yet was because I wanted it to be just right. Then it hit me…the whole point of what I am about to write has to do with how I am absolutely unable to do a thing without God and how I need to trust that God is able to work through me despite my weaknesses. So I’m just going to start writing and we’ll see where this goes.
I don’t like when there are times that I can’t see God’s purpose/plan for a situation or I when thought I knew what the plan was but circumstances change and then I question whether I knew the plan at all. I wonder if I hear from God clearly, sometimes I feel that I do and God is so tangible. Other times I think I’ll miss God’s will somehow because I don’t trust myself and my ability to hear from God. At least I thought it was myself I didn’t trust, what I’ve come to realize is that ultimately I’m saying that I don’t trust God to be able to speak to me in ways I would understand. The issue is that I’m not trusting that God is really going to come through for me. I’ve had a couple friends going through situations where they were seeking God’s will in a specific area of their lives and I told them as long as they were seeking God and being obedient they couldn’t miss it. Recently, I was really questioning whether or not I was hearing from God about a certain situation and one of those friends repeated to me what I had said…that God won’t let you miss it. It is one thing to encourage a friend and believe God to be able to work in someone else’s life. It’s easier sometimes to have faith for someone else. Somehow it is a different matter when your own words come back to you and you have to believe them for yourself. So this idea of not being to able miss God’s plan (provided you are honestly seeking first God’s righteousness and His Kingdom, certainly you can miss it if you are being willfully disobedient) has been on my mind a lot lately.
2 Corinthians 1:21-22 says that “Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.” God first has to enable me to recognize who Jesus is because it through Jesus that I can come into God’s presence, in 1 Corinthians 12:3 it says “Therefore I tell you that no one who is speaking by the Spirit of God says, “Jesus be cursed,” and no one can say, “Jesus is Lord,” except by the Holy Spirit.” Also in 1 John 4:19 it says that “We love him, because he first loved us.” It is comforting to realize that I need God to help me even recognize my need for God. God first of all draws me to Himself and it is His spirit that brings me the knowledge of God.
Understanding God’s love for His people and for me is key to believing in His desire and ability to act. The bible is filled with stories recounting God’s might on behalf of His people. Over and over again, whether God himself recounts it to someone or people speak of it to each other, we are told of how God brought his people out of Egypt and provided for them in the desert. People need to be reminded of what God has done because otherwise they lose sight of God’s ability to act. In Deuteronomy 8:10-18 it says “When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the LORD your God for the good land he has given you. Be careful that you do not forget the LORD your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day. Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, then your heart will become proud and you will forget the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. He led you through the vast and dreadful desert, that thirsty and waterless land, with its venomous snakes and scorpions. He brought you water out of hard rock. He gave you manna to eat in the desert, something your fathers had never known, to humble and to test you so that in the end it might go well with you. You may say to yourself, “My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me.” But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your forefathers, as it is today.” When we remember what God has done for us in the past it gives us hope that He will act in the future, because we affirm our understanding of who God is and what He can do.
I’ve wondered why there are times when God seems to be silent or circumstances just don’t support our hope in God’s faithfulness. One of the reasons God allows us to go through times when we can’t see or hear clearly is because it causes us to realize our dependence on Him. In 2 Corinthians 1:8-11 it says “We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us…” It is those times when I come to the point of despair that I come to the end of my own strength. In 2 Samuel 22:33 it says that “It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.”
I can know that God calls me and enables me to respond, and I can know that He is powerful enough to do what He says He will do. I can have insight into why He might allow situations where my strength fails. Despite all this, I was still having trouble believing that I really wouldn’t miss God’s will until I saw this in John 10:27 “My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me…”. I am not the one in the lead and my responsibility is to follow the shepherd. The shepherd will not let his sheep stray, because let’s face it…sheep are really, really dumb. They require attention and care, in Psalm 23 there is a wonderful description of the Lord as our shepherd “The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” God protects me and He knows that I need to be guided, because I won’t always know how to follow. It is freeing to realize that it’s okay not to have control. I need continual reminders that just because I’m not in control it doesn’t mean that there isn’t a direction I am headed in.
