Being transformed
So I’ve been thinking that I spend alot of my time guarding against pain and suffering of any sort. Whether its working to make sure I’ve analyzed every situation so that I have all the answers (somehow this never seems to work), or assuring myself that I have a back up plan for every possibility that could go wrong, I expend alot of mental and physical energy to avoid pain. Inevitability, things go wrong and disappointments happen. What am I to make of this and how do I get control of my thoughts and emotions so that I’m not crushed every time disappointments happen? I’ve come to the conclusion that my focus is on externals and God’s is on internals. It says in 2 Corinthians 3:18 that “We, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever increasing glory, which comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.” God is interested in making me more like Himself and He will allow situations in my life that will do just that. Our character is built up in situations where we’re stretched. There’s a great C.S. Lewis quote “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, and shouts in our pains. It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” There are things in my life that I just can’t understand or see the greater purpose for, but God is changing my understanding to enable me to see that when it says “all things work to the good for those who love Him” it might mean an increase in faith or an increase in the fruits of the Spirit instead of resolution of our circumstances. I’d really like to see a change in the externals, but if I can choose to pray that God would change my heart and make me more like Him I believe that would give me a totally different perspective. I think I’m afraid to pray to be more humble, or more giving, or more gentle because I know God will put me in situations where I’ll be required to humble myself or sacrifice and giving up my comforts can be hard. The truth of it is though that we’re meant to be living for others and so often I’m really just worried about myself. God is showing me that trusting Him means allowing him to take care of my externals while I use my resources to take care of others. It’s such a paradox…as I give more of myself out God pours more peace and joy into me than I could ever get through my efforts at keeping myself secure.
